


Highway to Sin

by HikariYumi



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Gay Castiel, Gen, Guilt, High School Student Castiel, Human Castiel, Human Crowley, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Castiel (Supernatural), Kid Crowley (Supernatural), M/M, Novak Family, Preacher's Kid Castiel, Protective Crowley (Supernatural), Rebellion, Strict family, Survivor Guilt, Teenage Rebellion, Teenagers, breakdown - Freeform, guilt tripping, high school student crowley, preachers family Novak, rocker crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-14 21:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10544390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HikariYumi/pseuds/HikariYumi
Summary: Castiel finds a friend in the rebellious Crowley, much to the disappointment of his family. He has to decide between his first friendship or the acceptance of his parents and siblings.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there,  
> Since I've obviously got a big thing for kid!Castiel and Castiel as son from a religious family... here I am once again.  
> One day I'll write something fluffy about a religious family... promise... :)
> 
> Please mind that Castiel's family is guilt tripping him in some ways and consequently he is feeling bad and sick. If this is a topic that triggers you, maybe you shouldn't read any further.
> 
> Warning of a different sort: no, there is no actual plot in there... and it's not really something actively happening... but never mind :3
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> ~Hikari

Castiel had always tried to be the son his parents wanted him to be, he really had. But somehow it never quite seemed to work out for him, wherever they went he stuck out like a sore thumb between his older brothers.  
  
His father was the local priest and consequently, the Novak family was quite strict and conventional in their beliefs; physical pleasure was, under the wrong circumstances, a sin and so were a lot other things Castiel occasionally failed to remember. Despite his inability to fit right into the rest of his family, it was still enough to not fit in anywhere else. In school he was the "idiot church boy" or the "holy virgin" and on the streets people tend to overlook him in his formal suit and tie.

Castiel fit nowhere and while he paid attention to keep that a secret, he was hurt by it. Even if the people around him joked that he was a loner and thought himself above everyone else, the boy alone knew that he wanted nothing more than to not be alone. Of course he didn't think he was above others, quite the opposite really, but there wasn't anybody who would listen, no one who would care.  
  
Until there suddenly was.

Without any warning, on no particular occasion, Crowley MacLeod came up to him at break and leaned against the wall next to his usual spot on the school's playground. Immediately Castiel turned to check if someone else was coming this way, who had planned to meet the other boy here, but there was no one to be seen.  
  
Turned out that Crowley had come for him after all, that was a surprise. Well, the older student was a bit weird himself, but in a good way. If Castiel wasn't mistaken, he had the style of those rock-fans, always wearing black and a leather jacket, only accented by some shiny silver accessories.

Castiel was strangely intrigued, drawn to this person who was so different from himself but still somehow similar. They didn't talk much at first, not because Crowley wasn't very talkative, the boy had heard him monologuing to others a few times already, but maybe because of Castiel.  
  
That changed slowly after some time, still, Crowley never explained why he had approached him that day and Castiel never asked, somehow scared of the answer he would receive.

It was a good feeling to leave for school, knowing there would be someone who looked at him and didn't make fun of him, it felt even more incredible to have someone to talk to.  
  
That hadn't really happened before. Of course there was his family, but there were things he would tell them no way in heaven, things as that he wanted to go out in the evening for a concert, or that he kind of liked boys, too.  
  
With Crowley, it didn't matter. Whatever the younger boy told him, he never scolded or looked down at him for that, it was refreshing.

Naturally, sooner or later his family was bound to find out about Castiel's new friendship, as well as who exactly that friend was. Crowley was in Michael's bible studies course and those discussions frequently bordered on full-blown arguments. To make it short, the MacLeod was in no way a fitting person for Castiel to interact with.  
  
But well, no one else wanted to, so maybe there wasn't a person his parents approved of who would have him.  
  
So it happened that when Castiel was asked to stop seeing Crowley, he declined.

For nearly one week, coming home after school felt to Castiel like being guilty of the most horrible crime. Needless to say, he loathed it and the only thing that kept him from bowing down and following his orders as usual was, of course, Crowley.  
The other student knew about the most recent developments and only let out a disdainful snort, obviously amused by the Novaks' attitude. But after a moment his face turned more serious again and Crowley placed one hand heavily on the other boy's shoulder.

"I know it's hard for you to believe, especially because your whole family doesn't fail to treat you that way, but you aren't actually the one at fault. It's your decision who you want to be friends with, your call who you want to be and," Crowley paused meaningfully and squeezed Castiels arm warmly, "what you like."  
  
The boy looked down and swallowed, everything always sounded so easy and reasonable when Crowley said it, he was amazing with language and despite his obviously manipulative side, Castiel saw him as a kind of role model.  
  
Not in the case of manipulating per se, but in the assurance that he knew what he was speaking about, as well as the strength to fight for his will and rights.

"Thank you, Crowley," the younger student mumbled, unsure what to say. Oddly, the other one behaved like he could comprehend the inner struggle Castiel was captured in. How the choice of being with his family, without the heavy and burning sensation of guilt, or not loosing the only person he could talk to, ripped him apart.  
  
Of course he couldn't place it, where this feeling came from, maybe it were the mournful eyes Crowley had made when he talked.

"Do you know how it feels?" the boy asked in a moment of boldness he regretted nearly instantly. He should watch his words or there wouldn't be a choice to make any more, because he already destroyed one option. "I'm sorry, I-"  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"Oh." Castiels apology caught in his throat and left him breathless for a split second. The other student shrugged and a small smile tugged at his mouth, smoothing out former edges.  
  
"It's alright, it's been a while ago, so believe me when I say it's going to be painful as hell, but in the end you're free."

Things went on for another week and slowly but surely it was wearing Castiel down. Every day in his last lesson, he developed a persistent ache in his stomach, not rarely accompanied by an unsettling amount of nausea.  
  
He even considered staying at school longer or receiving a detention for the sole purpose of having a little more time away, but that would only make things worse.

Unsurprisingly, it was Crowley who pulled the boy aside on his way home.  
  
"You look like you're going to faint any minute, Castiel. It can't go on like this. This unwarranted guilt will kill you sooner or later."  
  
He stared up at the older student, noticing sorrow in his features and a bit deeper down, anger.  
  
"I-" Castiel stumbled, the intensifying nausea making him feel as if he would have to throw up any second. "I don't think I can do this. I- I'm sorry, Crowley, I really am-"

"It's fine."  
  
Two words that sounded final and unsettlingly knowing. Castiels legs grew so soft, he feared they would just stop working. No, that couldn't be it. Yes, he said that he couldn't go on like this, but to hear this neutral voice, clearly feeling the disappointment behind the statement.  
  
Castiel regretted it immediately, but it was the truth. In the end he would always back down, because he was weak after all.

The boy really hadn't thought that it was possible to feel even worse than he had before, but he was proven wrong when he parted ways with Crowley. He had gotten the one thing he had craved for a long time and then he had failed to protect it. Shame had settled upon the guilt and made Castiel's body heavy, he didn't know what to do while at the same time knowing exactly what his options were.  
  
In this moment, he would have given everything to just stop existing.

That evening Castiel sat at the dinner table, shoulders hunched and his stomach still in knots. He didn't manage to touch his food and just stared at the table instead until his mother launched into her typical scold telling him not to not let food go to waste. And of course, it was Crowley's bad influence that made Castiel behave this terribly and that he should be ashamed of himself to stay in contact with that person.  
  
Castiel was angry, not on is own but on his friend's behalf. Neither of his parents had ever met Crowley in person, they didn't know anything of him except for what Michael had told them. To insult him was ridiculous without proper information and without the other one being able to defend himself.

Everything the boy wanted was to jump from his chair and explain that to his family, making them understand. But he knew it wouldn't help, as well as he knew that he wouldn't dare.  
  
Dinner went over in silence after that and with every second Castiel felt more terrible. He could just tell them he would stop seeing Crowley, but every cell in his body was against this idea, it was like his heart rendered him unable to say those words out aloud.

Before the Novaks had finished dessert, Castiel again not even glancing at his portion, the doorbell rang. Everyone turned around and Raphael asked if they were expecting any guests. When no one confirmed that, their father scowled and Michael stood up to answer the door.  
  
Curiously the others stayed quiet, listening for clues which could reveal their visitors identity. Turned out that this wasn't necessary since harsh steps, followed by Michaels firm ones, made their way to the dining room.

"Crowley!" Castiel tried to say, but the only thing that came out was a strange squeak that only vaguely resembled his usual voice.  
  
He wasn't the only one irritated by the boy's sudden appearance in their home, especially not when Crowley quickly but without any uncertainty walked over to his friend and positioned himself next to him. With the naturalness others would assume was out of habit, something that Castiel could deny, the older student slung an arm around his shoulders.

"Mr and Mrs Novak." His parents sat up a bit straighter when Crowley focused on them. "I believe we never got the occasion to introduce ourselves. But well, it's never too late, is it? Name's Crowley MacLeod and I'm your son's best friend."  
  
It took everything Castiel had in himself at the moment to keep his mouth shut at those words. Didn't they just end their friendship? And now he was declaring that they were even closer than ever mentioned before?

"If you don't mind, I've just realised that both of our first lessons are cancelled so I decided to drop by and fetch Castiel."  
  
That was a lie. At least Castiel would have to attend his first class in the morning, but since Crowley obviously had a plan, he didn't think to interrupt.  
  
"Fetch him for what exactly?" Castiel's father narrowed his eyes in warning and the boy's stomach sank a little more. Oh, that wouldn't end well.  
  
"For a sleepover of course." Crowley looked at the Novaks if they would be especially slow in understanding. "Are you ready, Cas? You can borrow stuff from me, you only have to take your school bag."

Castiel didn't move, couldn't move. Instead he stared up at his friend, wide eyed and more scared than he allowed himself to be. What was he doing? That was insane! His parents would kill him.  
  
"You alright? Don't worry, your parents won't be against that, you don't usually go out, so it'll be fine. Won't it?" The last question was directed sharply at the rest of the family. Interestingly enough, none of Castiel's siblings said a word, they were just listening in various states of incredulity. Who could blame them? Something like this had never happened before.

Their father, too, seemed to be at a loss of words, he just stared like his son until Crowley nodded, obviously satisfied.  
  
"So, now that this is settled, let's go. I think I saw your bag next to the wardrobe?" Castiel nodded mutely and let himself be dragged up from his chair.  
  
"Nice to meet you all, see you tomorrow, Michael." Crowley winked before leaving the dining room, the younger student in tow.

Castiel wasn't even sure how he was feeling anymore, there was this weird light-headedness and his stomach which felt as it was performing somersaults. Again, he tried to say something, but he was still rendered silent, unable to even grab his bag. So Crowley did, off-handedly throwing it over his shoulder, not loosening the grip he had on Castiels hand.

Only when the heavy door closed behind them without anyone of his family storming out to stop them, and when they reached Crowleys motor cycle around the corner, the Novak boy couldn't hold it together anymore.  
  
Without any further warning his legs finally stopped working and Castiel tumbled to the ground, awkwardly hanging on to his friend's arm.

"Castiel!" Immediately the bag was discarded and Crowley gathered the limp body onto his lap instead. His hands were ridiculously warm on the boy's clammy forehead as well as pretty distracting. It took quite some time before Castiel blinked and was able to focus on his friend without his vision greying out again.  
  
"Do you think you're going to be sick?" The older boy asked softly while drawing soothing circles on Castiels back. He opened his mouth to answer something like "I don't know" but again his voice didn't obey.

Fortunately it wasn't the case, so after a few more quiet minutes, Crowley helped the younger student into an upright position and made sure it was safe enough to take the bike together under these circumstances.  
  
Crowley MacLeod's apartment was small but the furniture was well chosen, it looked very different from Castiel's home. Most of the walls were covered by posters or paintings the boy didn't recognise but thought looked interesting, and surprisingly it felt like home only shortly after.

It was a long night for both boys, but neither really cared. They sat on the sofa together, talking calmly and even more open than ever before. Crowley told Castiel about his family and how it happened that he had moved out, which left the other boy speechless.  
  
They talked about Castiel's family, too. Mainly how to proceed from here, since the current situation was nowhere from over.  
Of course they didn't find a solution that night, but that wasn't necessary anyway. The most important thing was that Castiel knew, that even when he had already resigned to his fate, his friend wouldn't give up on him and instead fight in his place.  
Because of this realisation, everything else appeared more manageable instantly.

Maybe he would have backed down from this before, but now he had someone to help him up again until he would succeed.


End file.
